Tolerance and Forgiveness

  

Tolerance and Forgiveness

Bhagavad-Gita 2.14

 

“O son of Kunté, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.”

In the summer time we may feel pleasure from contact with water, but in the winter we may avoid that very water because it is too cold. In either case, the water is the same, but we perceive it as pleasant or painful due to the sense perception or its contact with body.

In material life there are many disturbances. One who has learned to tolerate these disturbances under all circumstances is called Dhira (a sober person) in Sanskrit.

Examples of Tolerance in our day to day life:

1.      Cooking in the kitchen even during the hot summer.

2.      Swallowing very bitter pills to cure a disease.

3.      Getting up early in the morning and going to school after taking a bath. Taking bath regularly even when it is chilly etc.

Therefore Lord Krishna advises Arjuna, tams titiksasva bharata…., to tolerate any pain or inconvenience while doing our duties. Inconvenience is part and parcel of life in the material world --- it is unavoidable.

How we can become tolerant and remain undisturbed under all the circumstances?

à When you understand inconvenience cannot be avoided, you do not pay too much attention to it. This way you can focus on doing your real duties.

e.g. Suppose Its sports period at the City Public school, students eagerly run out of their class room to play their games. Among those students are two friends Jay & Vijay who come across 2 boys Sri & Hrishi who are arguing with each other on who will sit on the swing first.

Sri says He! Hrishi I have come before you! I will sit on swing! You can wait till my turn gets over. Hrishi says no I came before you, so I will first sit on the swing.

From a distance two friends Jay & Vijay are observing this. Jay says He Vijay, watch! These two boys are arguing on point who will sit on swing first. Vijay in reply, Yes Jay, I am seeing. It seems that both of them are bent on sitting on swing first, and least tolerant to wait till others turn gets over. Their argument turns into a quarrel and now they are catching each other’s collar and about to beat each other.

Sri said : how you dare catch my collar, I will punch on your nose if you don’t leave it.

Hrishi said : I will punch on your belly if you don’t allow me to sit first.

 

Isn’t the problem with boys of today’s generation they can’t even wait for 5 minutes for their turn to play and end up fighting with each other??

Teacher punishes both of them to stand in the corner till the games period ends this will make you more tolerant next time. If one of them had little patience and tolerance they would have nicely enjoyed this games period! Without being tolerant they have missed the whole games period.

Storytime:  Unless I receive it; will not come to me!!!

Once Gautama Buddha was on a journey. As he was travelling by foot, one person being angry with Buddha approached him.

Angry person: You make a show of monkhood but are simply useless parasite on the society, there is no scarcity of beggars in our city, get out from here and find some job!!

Narrator: Buddha with serene face just continued to walk without being disturbed by the man’s comment. After some time they halted under a tree to take their lunch and rest a while before proceeding with their journey.

Buddha: my dear disciple why do you look so disturbed, do you want to ask something?

Disciple: Yes master how can that man treat you like that? Why did you forgive him? Such a rogue is worth punishment?

Buddha: Oh! That man who was insulting me on the way!

Disciple:  yes, yes!

Buddha: In our journey many people visit us and as a custom they give us gifts, if we need it we accept it and if we don’t need it we don’t accept it. When we don’t accept a gift, where does the gift go?

Disciple: It remains with that person who wanted to gift us.

Buddha: Similarly, if someone insults me with bad words and I don’t accept it then where it will go?

Disciple: it will remain with that person who insulted us.

Buddha: Since I did not pay any heed to his comments, I am undisturbed. If at all you want to have peace of mind in your life this quality of kñamä, tolerance and forgiveness, should be practiced; one should be tolerant and excuse the minor offenses of others.

3.      Learning the Art of Tolerance from Mother Earth

The Earth is very tolerant. The earth is constantly abused. Deep oil-drilling, Atomic explosions, pollution and so on, do not help the earth in any way. Yet, mother Earth, tolerate such abuse, continues to provide food and shelter to every living being, generation after generation.

The earth’s lush forests are cut again and again, creating huge wastelands. Sometimes the earth’s surface is soaked by the blood of soldier’s fighting one another in war. Yet, despite all these disturbances mother earth continues to provide the necessities of every living being. One may thus learn from mother earth how to tolerate.

A Short Story: Forbearance of a Mother

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

·         For cutting the grass: Rs 50 /-

·         For cleaning up my room this week: Rs 100 /-

·         For going to the store for You: Rs 10 /-

·         Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went for shopping: Rs 30 /-

·         Taking out the garbage: Rs 10 /-

·         For getting good report card: Rs 200 /-

·         For cleaning up and raking the yard: Rs 150 /-

·         Total owed: Rs 550 /-

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he had written on, and this what she wrote:

·         For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.

·         For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.

·         For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.

·         For all the nights filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.

·         For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge.

·         When you add it up the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what is mother had written, there were tears in his eyes, and he looked straight up at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you”

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL.”

No, language could express the power of forbearance of mother’s love for her child.

Ksama: Power of Forgiveness

Lord Sri Krishna Himself gives the clue about this glorious quality “ksamä” in Bhagavad Gita 16.3

“Vigor; Tolerance & forgiveness; fortitude; cleanliness; and freedom from envy and from the passion for honor—these transcendental qualities, O son of Bharata, belong to godly men endowed with divine nature.”

Story time: 2

Story of Jesus Christ for forgiveness.

Jesus, called as the Son of God , also as the Messiah (Christ), was arrested, tried, and sentenced by Pontius Pilate to be scourged, and finally crucified by the Romans. Before being crucified, He was then hung on a wooden cross for six hours (according to Mark's Gospel) between two convicted thieves. During this time, the soldiers affixed a sign to the top of the cross stating "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" in three languages. Jesus' only words, as they nailed him to the cross, were, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." He could not have so mercifully and lovingly interceded for his executioners if such thoughts of affectionate devotion had not been the mainspring of his life of unselfish service. The ideas, motives, and longings of a lifetime are openly revealed during a crisis. 

Jesus Christ taught his devotees that unless you forgive those who hurt you, God will not forgive you. In forgiving, we are forgiven. Even in the midst of his terrible suffering, the heart of Jesus was focused on others rather than himself. The nature of his love is unconditional and divine.

One can easily acquire this divine nature and develop this quality of “ksamä” by unalloyed devotion to Lord Krishna, especially by chanting His holy names.

 

Self-control

                                                    

  Once, in the late 1960s, Walter Mitchel, a professor at Stanford University, conducted a test with a marshmallow, a delicious sweet candy. 653 children of average 4 years age had assembled. At first one marshmallow sweet was kept in front of every child. They were all told that if they can control themselves for 20 minutes and not take the marshmallow, then they will be given 2 marshmallows instead of 1. But very few children could wait for 20 minutes but most children ate immediately as soon as they got it.

    Some could restrain for 2 mins or more, only few children could hold on for 20 mins and then got to eat 2 sweets.

After 20 years, in the late1980s when these children became early adults, Mitchel found out that those who were able to control themselves at the age of 4 were more successful in their career, studies and are much happier in their lives.

Self-control yields all knowledge. Developing self-control gives a sense of achievement; it helps us to realize our full potential. Our self-esteem increases and we look at ourselves in a new light. We become the achievers. We do not feel weak in the knees when we face temptations. We don’t feel vulnerable or insecure. We have control over our thoughts. We cannot be forced to do anything against our will. We are respected by everyone. We have control even over our emotions – we can be happy or sad according to our will. People don’t affect us, our confidence affects people, and they are bound to follow. These qualities are very attractive.

Self-control is necessary if we want to be successful as; Singers avoid ice cream, cold drinks and hot chilly items to have high pitch. A man with typhoid avoids pooris and oily foodstuffs to get well. A bus driver avoids drinking alcohol in order to save the passengers from accident.

Sense control makes us successful in studies, sports and every activity that we do.

 

Thoughts

Thought is the action or process of thinking, which is an output produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind. There are four types of thoughts.

     · Positive thoughts are value based thoughts which have no selfish intentions. 

• Necessary thoughts are related with the day to day routine, work, profession, career etc. 

• Negative thoughts are based on weaknesses, vices, evils, selfishness, complexities etc. 

•  Waste thoughts are the ones in which the mind keeps brooding over the past or worrying about the unknown future.

Positive |              Negative  |           Necessary |      Waste

 Joy               Anger                 Work            Past  

Love             Stress                Career             Future

Prayerful      Egoism            Routine    

Mercy           Racism            Profession

Surrender     Laziness

Honesty         Revenge

Harmony         Carelessness

Tolerance          Criticism

Enthusiasm        Jealousy

Understanding      Attachment

Humility

Hope

Peace

 

Thoughts have power of Materialization:  If your thoughts are positive, positive conditions will emerge in life.  If negative, then negative conditions will emerge in life.  

Watch your thoughts – they become words;         

Watch your words – they become actions

Watch your actions – they become habits;            

Watch your habits – they become character;

Watch your character – it becomes your culture

Conclusion:  We have to give up negative and waste thoughts and focus our attention on positive and necessary thoughts, for all round well-being and progressive performance at all levels.

Concentration

 

Concentration is being able to focus the mind on a thing and hold it steadily there without letting it wander.

 Arjuna, the best archer

 Here is a story from the Mahabharata about the great Arjun. This will give you a good idea about what concentration is.

The Kaurava and the Pandava princes received their training under the renowned teacher Dronacharya.  One day, Drona decided to test his students’ abilities.  He placed an artificial bird high in a tree.  Calling together all the princes, he said to each of them, “Take your bows and aim for bird’s eye.  One by one I shall call you forward to shoot.”

The first to be called was Yudhisthira.  When he had placed an arrow on his bow and aimed, Drona said, “Oh! prince, tell me what you see.”

Yudhisthira replied that he saw his brothers, Drona, the tree and the bird.  Drona asked him again and again what he saw and each time received the same reply.  Drona then reproached him and told him to stand down without firing his arrow.  “You will not be able to hit the mark,” he said with annoyance.

Duryodhana was the next to be called.  When he was ready to fire Drona asked him the same question.  The prince replied as Yudhisthira had replied, and again Drona told him to stand down.  One by one the princes were called and each responded to Drona similarly and was not allowed to shoot at the bird.

Finally Arjuna was called.  When he was prepared to shoot and was standing with his bow drawn in a semicircle, Drona said, “Tell me what you see.  Can you see myself, your brothers and the tree?”

Arjuna replied, “I see only the bird.  I cannot see you or my brothers, nor the tree.”  Drona was pleased.  He waited a moment and asked, “If you see the bird, then please describe it to me.”

Arjuna responded, “I see only the bird’s head.  I cannot see its body.”

Drona felt his hair stand on end with delight.  He said, “Shoot!”

Arjuna released his arrow and it struck the wooden bird in the eye, sending it tumbling to the ground.  With tears of joy Drona embraced his disciple as Duryodhana and his brothers looked on in anger.

Sometime after that Drona went with the princes to the Ganges to bathe.  As he entered the water he was seized by a fierce crocodile.  Although capable of freeing himself, Drona cried out, “Oh! princes, quickly kill this beast and rescue me!”

The princes were confounded with sorrow at seeing their teacher held by the crocodile.  They froze in fear—all except Arjuna. He instantly fired five arrows which struck the reptile under the water and cut it to pieces.  Its mouth fell open and released Drona’s leg.  Drona came to the river bank and took Arjuna aside.  He said to him, “I wish to give you the greatest of weapons.  Take from me the knowledge of the Brahmastra, the irresistible missile endowed with Brahma’s power.  This weapon should only be used against supernatural foes, for if released against others it may destroy the very world.”  Drona then told Arjuna that no one would ever become superior to him with a bow.  He was now invincible.

Importance of concentration

Have you ever tried to keep a paper under a sun through a magnifying glass?

What happens? The paper burns. This is the power of concentration. When your mind is fixed completely on one thought you can feel the power of concentration.

Do you want to feel the power of concentration?

   Ok!!! Now think about this.

When you are sitting down in your class-room and trying to hear your teacher, how many times are you thinking about 'the games period!' or 'what is there in the tiffin box? ‘Or 'such a wonderful action film I saw yesterday' or 'the game you played in daddy's smart phone' hmmm… does it happen to you.  Honestly if yes!! Yes!!! It happens to all of us. 

 Sometimes it also happens that students are peeping out from the window and trying to watch the beautiful cricket match of other school mates while the teacher is teaching in class-room.  

Students' ears were in the class.. Surely!!! But why wasn’t they able to hear what the teacher taught?

Because their minds were not in the class!! They are where their minds are!

 So what is it that actually makes hearing possible or complete?

• F It is the mind that lies behind the ears and hears through it.
• F It is not just the ears that hear.
• F When the teacher spoke, though the student’s ears were physically present in the class, his mind was outside, in the playground. So he did not hear the teacher.
• F So to hear anything, the mind should be present along with the ears.
• F To see anything, the mind has to be present along with the eyes.
• F To do anything, the mind has to be present along with the hands.
• F When the mind is present with us without wandering, we are able to concentrate.

Human Value

Michael Jordan is a famous basketball player, in his child hood his father gave him an old, dirty kerchief and told him to sell it at one dollar, he first washed the kerchief thoroughly then he ironed it properly, it was shining well ironed. Then he went in public announced about the kerchief and sold it at 2 dollars. His father gave him another dirty kerchief and told him that this time he should sell it at 10 dollars. This time he washed it then he got it painted with beautiful drawings from a good painter. He sold the kerchief at 25 dollars in public gathering by announcing. His father gave him another dirty kerchief and told him to sell it at 100 dollars, this time he washed and ironed it, then he went to a famous actress who was surrounded by her fans, he got her sign on the kerchief, later he went and announced in public and sold it at 120 dollars. His father was happy with his son’s efforts and he asked him what he learnt from these incidents, his son told that by willpower you can achieve everything. Father told him that he had added value to the kerchief all the 3 times so it has become valuable, similarly if we add values to our life then we will also become valuable. Michael Jordan was in a final basket ball match and on the verge of a world record, the score of both teams was almost near, basketball came to him in the middle of the court but passed to his teammate who was near the basket ,that player threw the basket and they won the match, later on the reporters asked him why he did not threw the ball directly, he said while playing the match we are not concerned about individuals targets but teams concerns, he became a person of such high values because he was taught values from childhood. There are many players who have skills but rarely do you find players with values. Michael Jordan has not only skills but also values.

One man was about to be hanged and he was asked by the judge if he had any last desires. The prisoner told that he wants to meet his mother, when his mother came to jail he went and started biting her ear, they pulled him away, every one asked why he did like this, he told that when he was a small boy he once stole a pencil and told his mother that he stole it, she did not correct him, later as he grew he started stealing many things and his mother never corrected him, he killed and robbed people and finally he is in jail. He told the people around that if only his mother corrected him when he was a small boy then he would not have been like this in jail. So its very imp for us to cultivate values right from childhood itself otherwise see the consequences. 

Drug Addiction is a major social problem

   The term drug has now been given a new connotation. It was used originally to mean medicine. However now a days, the term ‘drug’ means not only medicine, but also the fatal narcotics that include cocaine, heroin, brown sugar and many other specifications. All these drugs have their evil effects on the mind and body cells of the addicts. According to the latest data given by National Institute of Drug Abuse in terms of Nepal, it is found that the large number of drug addicts have been found to be between the ages 16 to 20. The abuse of drugs has led not only to drug addiction but also to the incidence of HIV/AIDS, hepatitis B and other sexually transmitted diseases (STD). Among 60 thousand drug abusers, the number of IDU’s is estimated to be 20 thousand and 60% of these IDU’s are HIV positive.

  The young generations, particularly teenagers are the worst victims of evils of drug addiction. Drug addiction (also called substance use disorder) is a brain disease. The addict becomes dependent on the drug. The addict uses it, despite having full knowledge of its harmful effects on health. It is considered as a brain disease because it changes the structure and functioning of the brain. There are some characteristics of drug users such as red eyes and runny nose, sudden mood changes, change of friends, loss of appetite etc. Nowadays, drug addiction proves to be major and serious problem in our country. The reasons why a young person gets addicted to these harmful drugs are many such as curiosities, desire for pleasure, social exon-communication, mental gap, lack of reliance is some of the common reasons why these youth becomes a drug addict. Even lack of self-confidence, peer pressure, excessive stress, lack of parental involvement in child’s activities are also among the leading causes for drug addiction among youth and teen people.

  Similarly, the mentioned causes have also proved to be a vital social problem. This problem is rapidly increasing especially in urban regions. The teenagers have been victimized by this problem. The boys of high schools and higher secondary schools are fond to have been drug addicts. The percentage of the school girls who have been intoxicated in drugs is very low. Researchers have traditionally observed that men have had higher rates of substance use and abuse than woman. The link between drug addiction and crime is not difficult to fathom. It includes the following crimes in the society related to abusing drugs such as stealing money or property to get money for drugs. It also includes the crimes stemming from associating with others involved in illegal activity such as organized crime or gangs. Violent crimes are also associated with drug use and activity, and it is common for a person to use drugs or alcohol before committing a crime or to have been using at the time the crime was committed.

   There are some certain preventive and remedial measures for dealing with the problem of drug abuse. The Government must use all the media to propagate against the habit of drug taking. Voluntary organizations should pay more attention to instruct addicts how to give the bad habit. Similarly, parents should pay more care, attention and love to their sons and daughters. Reading of moral and religious books is also helpful to addicts. And lastly, the police must act fearlessly to cat against the people involved in drug trafficking. 

         To conclude, let us all decide today that we will never use any drugs. We should all stand together to fight against this massive problem. We should not let ourselves to be caught up in the web of drug addiction. There are so many things that we can do it to get ourselves clean and not affected in order to lead a healthy lifestyle. Remember that a thousand-mile journey always begins with one step and to take it one day at a time.

                                        Thank You

Cooperative Governance: A Tool of Organizational Development

Organizational Development is a planned, systematic approach to improving organizational effectiveness – one that supports strategy, people and processes. To achieve the desired goals of high performance and competitive advantage, organizations are often in the midst of significant change. Often inspirational vision for the organization gets created by a few and then thrust upon the many. Too often, this results in these change initiatives ending in a successful change of procedures and structures, but less sustainable change in ways of working, culture and effectiveness. Organizational development is a specific perspective and area of expertise which speaks to this challenge. In the context of cooperative societies, cooperative governance is a tool of OD.

Cooperative governance is a system in which cooperatives are directed, controlled and fully managed. The cooperative governance structure specifies the distribution of rights and responsibilities among different participants in the cooperatives, such as, the board members, managers, employees, share members and other stakeholders, and brings out the rules and procedures for making decisions on cooperative affairs. By doing this, it also provides the structure through which the cooperatives' objectives are set, and are applied the means of achieving those objectives. It is the process through which any organization can maintain its vision, mission, goal and objectives in a transparent way. Governance is the practice of good conduct by rule or laws in order to achieve organizational objectives. Cooperative governance leads to the rules, the tools and the concrete procedures through which cooperatives are managed. Cooperative governance has eight major characteristics. They are participatory, consensus oriented, accountable, transparent, responsive, effective and efficient, equitable and inclusive and follow the rule of law. It assures that corruption is minimized, the views of minorities are taken into account and that the voices of the most vulnerable in the society are heard in decision making. It is also responsive to the present and future needs of the society. The governance must be consistent with the values, the principles and the mission of the cooperatives, in order to allow for their correct implementation.

Cooperatives are organized by the group of people which are democratically controlled, managed and owned to serve the members and produce benefits for them. Therefore cooperative governance is concerned with ensuring cooperative relevance and performance by connecting members, their elected representatives, management and employees to the policy, strategy and decision making processes.

The cooperative movement aims to mobilize financial and other resources of the members, ensuring that they are utilized to the best advantage of the members, providing easy credit to members, providing support for uplifting from poverty, backwardness and exploitation. Cooperatives are being considered as the most reliable and effective organization in creating and maximizing the wealth and contributing to poverty alleviation. The cooperatives are the most practical way of pulling resources together and accessing credit easily among entrepreneur poor group. The main objective of a cooperative is to offer high-quality services to the members to fulfill their needs and aspirations to make them able to generate additional income and social comforts for themselves. The principles, core values and norms of cooperative governance in the cooperatives can be applied as mentioned below:

·         Share Member: The Key Person

Members in the cooperatives are shareholders i.e. owner. They should have the feeling of ownership. Each and every member is equal in all aspects. They have the role as supervisory body in ensuring that their organizations are well managed. They must be careful and well known about the objectives and functions of their cooperatives so that they can effectively elect the representatives who are the visionary persons, who can apply organizational development tools, will be accountable and responsible for the efficient and effective governance of the cooperatives so as to achieve cooperative objectives, prosperity and sustainability.

·         Executive committee: The Visionary board

The role of Executive committee is to lead the cooperative by effective ways which exercises leadership, enterprise, integrity and judgment in directing the cooperatives and which acts in the best interest of the cooperatives in a transparent, accountable and responsible manner.

·         Planning and Strategies: Guideline for TQM

Executive Committee should formulate periodic plan, strategic plan and continuously review and determine the goals, strategies and shape the values of their cooperatives and rework out appropriate strategies to achieve the goals. There are various methods for planning and making strategies but committee must remember the cooperative norms while choosing the method that  gives guideline for total quality management.

·         Information Sharing System

There should be well defined formal communication sharing system in cooperatives and all related information regarding the cooperatives should be communicated in a timely manner to all stakeholders. There should be two ways communication system among members and the managerial body regularly.

·         Orientation, Training and Career Development Activities

An effective orientation program for new committee members and training and career development programs should be continuously organized in order to provide executive members with new and emerging skills in their areas and for good cooperative governance. Such type of orientation, skill based training, professional training for members and employees as well.

·         Procedure of Board Meetings

To maintain good governance, the board members should devote their time and resource to their cooperatives by meeting as regularly as per the needs of the cooperative, but at least once every month. There must be full discussion in economic agenda at first in every meeting, then after newly membership, loaning and so on. Decision should be taken by full or two-third members' acceptance.

·         Effective Reporting System

The cooperatives should ensure that financial reports follow the accounting standards and there should be effective reporting system of all operational reports to the various supervisory bodies and various stakeholders.

·         Internal Control System

There should be Auditory, account supervisory committee for internal control system that  monitors its collective performance, the performance of managerial bodies. This should be done

through at least quarterly evaluation and providing suggestions to the executive committee.

·         Risk Management System

There should establish a process of identifying, analyzing and managing risks monthly. There should be managed proper loan risk provision fund, analyzing PEARLS monthly.

·         Cooperative Social Responsibilities

There should be cooperative social responsibilities to establish and sustain in the community.

·         Code of conduct, Policies and procedure for the Best Practice

There should be approval and implementation of written codes of conduct, various policies and procedure for the best practice of cooperative governance. Every decision must be done indicating the article, schedules of the written and approved laws, rules, policies and procedures.

After everything else, cooperatives are organized by a group of people and are democratically controlled to serve their members and generate benefits for them. Therefore cooperative governance is concerned with ensuring cooperative relevance and performance by connecting members, their elected representatives, management and employees to the policy, strategy and decision making processes. Good governance can be maintained by applying honestly the prevailing laws and respecting the spirit behind these prevailing laws.